From Twenty Four Hours a Day, April 21: When I stop to think that but for the grace of G‑d I might be drunk right now, I can't help feeling humble....When I think of the kind of person I was not so long ago, the person I left behind me, I have nothing to be proud of. Am I grateful and humble?"
There's nothing like remembering the past for humility. I am not proud of who I was, but I feel good about who I am now. There is a program saying: "Keep the memory green." This means that it's all too easy to forget what we were like before program, and feel super-haughty about all that we've accomplished, sometimes in a very short time. But remembering where we were, and remembering what it took to get to the place we're now in is a sure way to keep that "memory green." It's important, too, because we "program folks" don't fool ourselves into thinking that we can't lose all the ground we've gained, and go slip-sliding right back down the hill, and into that old, slimy, dark hole again.
In the Promises, we read: "We will not forget the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
That's because we've learned from our past. We've learned to value the changes, and remember what it was like. We've learned that we can even grow from our trials and tribulations, and that we wouldn't be where we are without them. That's an awful lot of learning, and a lot of wisdom.
But knowing how easily we could end up right back where we began keeps us from getting haughty or showy about it.
What this leaves us with is a lot of gratitude, and a whole package of humility.
Sometimes I need a push to remember to be grateful for everything my Higher Power has done for me. Last night, my sponsor gave me that push. She reminded me that even when things seem down, there is much more good in my life, and much more to be grateful for than to cry and kvetch about.
So, I hope to end my day with thoughts of gratitude, thoughts of gladness, thoughts of feeling Happy, Joyous and Free from the tyranny of addiction.
