A Time to Heal: the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Response to Loss and Tragedy has become the trusted companion to thousands of readers in the throes of grief and mourning since its publication in 2015. The recent publication of the newly translated Hebrew edition, aimed in part at addressing the needs of Israel’s often embattled population, was celebrated at a book launch at the Menachem Begin Center in Jerusalem earlier this month.
Esti Golovensitz, the mother of 1st Lt. David Golovensitz of the Israel Defense Forces who died from the accidental firing of a bullet during a training exercise in 2017, attended the event. Golovensitz reached out to the book’s author, Rabbi Mendel Kalmenson, executive director of Chabad of Belgravia in London, after her rabbi gave her a copy of the book.
“Reading and rereading your book has really been a lifeline for me these past months,” Efrat resident Golovensitz wrote in an email to Kalmenson at the time. “Have you ever considered translating it to Hebrew? Unfortunately, there are so many Israeli families it could give amazing chizuk [‘strength’] to.”
Golovensitz and her husband went on to form a support group for 500 families affected by war and terror. “She said the Rebbe’s teachings gave her the impetus to ‘go public’ and become an activist,” Kalmenson told Chabad.org. “To date, she and her husband have initiated many important campaigns in memory of their son.”
The new edition is already having an impact in Israel, with the IDF reportedly pledging to sponsor 1,000 copies to distribute to victims of terror and their families.
In 2017, A Time to Heal, co-published by Chabad.org and Ezra Press, an imprint of Kehot Publication Society, captured the International Book Publishers Association “Best Book Award” in the religion category. A Russian edition was published in 2018, and the English-language edition is soon to enter its third printing.
A Reader Becomes a Sponsor
Also in attendance at the launch were several readers who were helped by the English edition, including the Hebrew edition’s sponsor, Eli Gurfel, a businessman and philanthropist residing in Thailand, who says he received great comfort and support from the book following the death of his father. Gurfel was visiting London in the aftermath of his loss when Rabbi Yosef Kantor, Thailand ’s head Chabad-Lubavitch emissary and chief rabbi, urged Kalmenson to reach out to him.
“We really connected, and after reading the book, which helped him immensely, he asked me what he could do,” Kalmenson shared about how Gurfel came to sponsor the Hebrew translation. “He wanted to share the Rebbe’s words with others, to pay it forward, so he sponsored the book and dedicated it to his father.”
Chabad-Lubavitch representatives Rabbi Yossi and Hindel Swerdlov of Jerusalem, who lost a child in 2009, also attended the launch. In a tragic accident, their 3-year-old daughter, Shula, was run over by the bus that transported her from school.
In a social-media post about the event, Hindel Swerdlov wrote about the positive messages emanating from the book, saying: “It reminds us to go about life with determination and vigor, that we are worthwhile and need to make the effort in our capabilities of cosmic change through acts of goodness and kindness.”
In deference to another parent at the event who suffered the loss of multiple children, she wrote on a more tender note: “I lost ONE child and though I think of myself as having moved forward in the healthiest way possible, it’s still often a struggle. I sometimes let my ego pull me under and fall into the trap of feeling the ache of loss and sadness. ‘Don’t I deserve more?’ is an often asked question.”
A Guide to Constructive Action
Whether assuaging a parent’s pain or helping relieve the suffering of people like Rabbi Gabriel Sassoon, another speaker at the book launch, who lost seven children in 2015 to a fire that engulfed their home in Brooklyn, N.Y., or addressing the cold-blooded 1956 slaughter of five children and a teacher at an agricultural school in Kfar Chabad, the book shows how the Rebbe had the ability to uplift spiritually, console and validate, said Kalmenson. In most cases, such as Kfar Chabad, the Rebbe would also point the brokenhearted towards constructive action.
In response to the Kfar Chabad murders by Palestinian terrorists in the school’s synagogue in the midst of evening prayers, where 10 other children were seriously wounded, the Rebbe wrote in a now famous succinct telegram to the community three words in Hebrew: Behemshech habinyan tinacheimu (“By your continued building, will you be comforted”). The three words would go down in history as one of the Rebbe’s classic answers to tragedy.
The Rebbe also would draw on the insights of Jewish mysticism in his input to the bereaved.
To a young widow featured in the book who was struggling with how to explain her husband’s death to her children, the Rebbe replied, “Explain the way it is in truth: That there are souls that are so pure and holy that G‑d wants them to be in the heavens, after they have completed their mission in this world and guard [over their loved ones].”
The Rebbe also offered less esoteric words, the book records, such as the well-known Chassidic adage: “Think good, and it will be good,” as he advised one rabbi whose community had lost two young members to untimely deaths.
Dr. Mark Glaser, emeritus chief of cancer services at Imperial College and honorary consultant in clinical oncology at Imperial College hospitals in London, spoke at the launch of the English edition, saying that he got to know the Rebbe for the first time through Kalmenson and the book’s teachings.
“This book has been written with diligence, authority and exemplary literary style,” said Glaser, a former professor at Harvard and Yale universities, as well as a researcher at Stanford University, whose work the original book was dedicated to. “It will be an enabler for those who need to change their lives and get through their tribulations to be granted a perfect healing for mind, body and soul.”
“A Time to Heal: The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Response to Loss and Tragedy”—a collaboration between Chabad.org and Ezra Press, an imprint of the Kehot Publication Society—is available for purchase here.
The Hebrew-language version can be purchased here.
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