It's me again.
Down here.
This tiny fleck, in the huge vastness of Your universe.
Me asking You, once again, to fulfill my needs. My wants.
I've stood here, in this very place or another, so many times before, asking of You. It's always a similar pattern, the overall themes being almost identical. Only the details of each request change, with the passing seasons and years of my life.
Sometimes, I wonder if You hear me, way down here. This tiny fleck, in this lowly world.
Do my requests seem so small? Irrelevant? Maybe silly? Or insignificant? Or perhaps irreverent or ungrateful in light of all that You do for me?
But I stop my mind from thinking those thoughts. I tell myself, that You care. Even about me. All the way down here. Even about my little needs and my unessential wants. You hear me and see me. You know me.
It is true that I realize that life here in our world means that we each have our own "pekeleh"—our own package of difficulty or hardship that we are meant to carry with us in our lives.
Each of us has hurdles or challenges that we encounter. Those things that are meant to develop us and make us into the special "I" that weathering these storms makes us become.
Through the hardships, through the challenges, we become better people. It is how we grow and develop.
It is also true that I realize that were I ever able to switch "pekeleh" and assume someone else's packaged hardship, instead of my own, I know I wouldn't be able to cope.
Though from the outside it may not appear so, once I would become intimately familiar with any one else's challenges, I'd find them far too weighty a burden to carry.
Because I know that my "pekeleh" has been formed and created to tailor fit my character, my strengths and weaknesses, and my own unique soul powers.
I realize, too, if I had to choose anyone's "pekeleh" I would eventually choose my very own.
It is also true that I am grateful for all the good, all the fortune and all the happiness in my life.
So why is it that I am standing here once again, speaking to You? Beseeching You? Requesting so much of the same theme, once again?
Perhaps I should just accept all—the good and the bad—that life offers.
Perhaps I should just find the good, even in the bad.
Why do I stubbornly insist on continually complaining to You for the hardships in my world, for the pain, and for the lacking?
Why do I repeatedly ask for more good, for more happiness, and for more abundance?
Because, ultimately, I believe and know that You are the source of all good.
That You are infinite in Your abilities. That nothing at all is beyond You.
Yes, my challenges and hardships are meant to develop me into a better person, and carve away the coarseness of my persona. These trials and tribulations in our world are meant to refine our universe to become a better place.
But being Infinite, I know, that You have ways of helping us achieve all these benefits, all these positive outcomes—without the difficulty.
Nothing is beyond You.
Even accomplishing all these eventual advantages—without the pain. Without the hardships and challenges. And without the tears.
And that is why, I stand here, once again, asking of You.
