There is something almost counterintuitive about lighting Shabbat candles. On the one hand, it’s super important for Jewish women to light candles before every Shabbat. On the other hand, once the proper time passes, it’s absolutely forbidden to light a flame.

What happens if you accidentally forget to light the candles one week? The common custom (as recorded in the Code of Jewish Law) is to light an additional candle every Friday thereafter as a reminder. For instance, if you normally light two candles, you would now light three candles going forward.1 And if you forget again in the future, you add a flame each time.2

Let’s delve deeper into this custom.

When Is the Latest Time to Light?

Shabbat begins at sundown, after which certain activities, including lighting candles, are prohibited.

At the same time, the Talmud teaches that there is a mitzvah of tosefet Shabbat—adding time to Shabbat both before it starts and after it ends.3 This practice, considered biblically mandated by most authorities, has two purposes:

  • It ensures that we don’t accidentally begin Shabbat late.
  • It expresses our love for the Shabbat.

Customs vary regarding how much time to add. Typically, people add 15 to 40 minutes before Shabbat, with the prevalent practice being to light candles 18 minutes before sunset. (For more on this, see Why Are Shabbat Candles Lit 18 Minutes Before Sunset?)

So even if you missed the 18-minute mark, you can still light up until two minutes before sunset.

Having a Fellow Jew Light For You

If you’re the woman of the house, you typically light the Shabbat candles, but the obligation actually rests on the whole household. So if you’re running late, deputize a household member to do it for you at the proper time. In fact, even if you didn’t ask, household members should go ahead and light for you if they see that it’s getting close to Shabbat and you’re not able to light (such as if you had to dash out for an emergency).4

If someone else lit for you, you didn’t “miss” lighting candles, and nothing needs to be made up.

Having a Non-Jew Light After Sunset

Once the sun sets, you can’t light a candle. However, if there is a non-Jew present, it’s OK to ask them to light a single candle until nightfall. Once the candle is lit, cover your eyes and say the blessing with a slight variation:5

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְו‍ֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הַדְּלָקַת הַנֵּר

Bah-rookh ah-tah ah-doh-noi eh-loh-hay-noo meh-lekh hah-oh-lahm ah-shehr keed-shah-ׁnoo bi-meetz-v‍oh-tahv vi-tzee-vah-noo ahl hahd-lah-kaht hah-nayr

Blessed are you, L‑rd our G‑d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us regarding the candle lighting.

Note that this may only be done until nightfall. From that point on, it’s too late to light, even through a non-Jew.

When You Had No Control

Only add a candle if you missed candle-lighting due to negligence. If however, it was due to circumstances beyond your control, such as illness or even an alarm malfunction, then you don’t add a candle in the coming weeks.6

If you adopt Jewish observance later in life, you need not add candles for the candle-lightings you missed before you embraced Jewish observance.7

What If It’s Embarrassing?

In a situation where adding a candle every week will cause undue embarrassment or difficulties (such as a single girl who would be ashamed to light two candles like a married woman), consult a rabbi. In some situations, he may say that instead of adding a candle, you should light a longer candle.8

Gray Areas

There is debate as to whether you need to light an additional candle in certain scenarios, such as:9

  • If other women or girls in the household independently lit their own Shabbat candles (not specifically on your behalf).
  • If you forgot and lit fewer candles than your usual number (this does not include times when you specifically lit less than your usual amount, such as when traveling).
  • If your home was illuminated with electric lights that were lit specifically in honor of Shabbat.

In these cases, you might not have been fully obligated to light in the usual manner, even if the standard practice was not followed (e.g., you typically light five candles but only lit four).

A rabbi should be consulted in these and other cases when there is uncertainty about the obligation to add an extra candle. Based on the specifics, the rabbi may rule to add a candle for the next week only or possibly not to add one at all.

What if the Candle Blew Out?

If you lit your candle as usual but it went out, don’t relight it (although you may ask a fellow Jew who has not yet accepted Shabbat to do it for you until shortly before sunset). The custom is to relight the candles after Shabbat ends the following night and let them burn down.10 Since this was beyond your control, you don’t need to light an additional candle from then on.11